Year 1996: My 7 year old sister receives Mall Madness for Christmas.....Life would never be the same!
Although this unheralded Milton Bradley classic had been around since 1988, rereleased as "Electronic Mall Madness" (serious technology upgrades) in 1989/1990 , it wasn't until 1996 that Kristin and I got our "first" credit and ATM cards. We spent hours running across that two story mall searching for sales, bargains, and clearances.
As long as that robotic bitch didn't screw you over with "Wowee, line's too long. Try back later." or "Uh-oh you left your car lights on." you were golden. I was a shrewd player so I always beat my sister and her friends, they could never quite hit those sales and cross off that shopping list with the speed necessary to be victorious at the Madness.
I hated having to meet a friend for pizza at the food court, didn't my friend know I had to finish my shopping list, if only the game had been equipped with cell phones! By far the worst was being told by the bank you were out of money and I think this was a common pitfall for Kristin, she would always overpay early for something that every good shopper knew was going to be put on sale later in the game.
I feel like they probably played Mall Madness on Full House, which could have been a great subplot for episode 172, season 8, I've Got a Secret where: "Michelle is excited to be part of her very own secret club with some friends, but things get messy when Danny accidentally reveals that he knows about the Mighty Mutant Super Kids, and Michelle's buddies kick her out of the group. Alienated by his daughter, Danny just might have a shot at redeeming himself when Joey gives him a little heads-up about a potential peace offering at a local toy store. Meanwhile, shortly after DJ breaks up with Nelson, she is taken aback when a certain friend tries wiggling her way into his heart" (generously lifted from tv.com)
The DJ/Nelson romance was doomed from the start and really lame and a waste of time, we should have had Michelle playing Mall Madness with Nicki, Alex, and Comet! Hell if there had not already been a board game perhaps this episode could have been named Mall Madness. (Joel Zwick and the rest of FH crew could have had no idea how right they were about crazy mob parents in 1994. It would be just a short couple of Christmas seasons later that parents everywhere would be fighting for Tickle Me Elmo!
In case you were curious Danny screws up in true parent fashion because he can't fight off the other parents for the last Super Fortress Game and tries to buy it off some sketchy guy on the street (actually credited as seedy guy on imdb). No surprise when Aaron (The biggest child douche on TV!) blows the whistle on the game being a fake knock off. Michelle felt about as low as I did when my mom bought me Reebok Preseason 96's in 1998! Luckily everything came together in a nice neat little bow at the end of the 22 and half minute episode. How did it turn out? You'll have to watch....or ask Kerri!
I couldn't find a clip but can't you just hear Aaron sassing off to Danny, little bastard. And we don't even have time to start to deal with Derek's issues (I'll save that for a review of the Yankee Doodle Dandy Episode)....
Aaron: Super fake!
Lisa: Yeah, this isn't an official Super Fortress. Super Mandy looks like Abraham Lincoln!
Derek: And I believe the evil Fungo bears a striking resemblance to Herbert Hoover.
Aaron: This is just a cheap imitation.
Danny: Cheap? I paid $75 to a guy in an alley for this stuff!
2 comments:
Oh my God, Briton, you totally just posted that so I would leave you a comment. MEAN TRICK.
And I don't remember Mall Madness nearly as vividly as you do, but I think I was in 3rd grade when I had it. Man I loved that game though.
And, since I'm sure everyone is wondering - Michelle yells at her friends because her dad is the BEST dad ever and they let her back into their club and all is well with the world.
I just turned on my TV, which was on ABC Family because (surprise) I was watching Full House earlier. And it becomes some religious show after a certain point at night. And the first thing I heard was "Attention all shoppers" and I misheard it as "Attention mall shoppers". But then he went on to say "Jesus loves you" or something like that, and I thought "Wait! That's not how the game goes." Although it would be pretty funny if they came out with a Mall Madness: Jesus Edition.
Post a Comment